Friday, June 30, 2006

Commie Hollywood Bastards! (or not)

Does Superman hate America? Does Hollywood? Do screenwriters Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris (writers of the new - yawn - Superman movie)?

Much is being made of the fact that in this latest movie, Superman says he fights for "truth, justice, and all that," when clearly he ought to say, "Truth, justice, and the American way." Superman, unpatriotic? Say it ain't so!

Well, first of all, I've got to think that the real Superman might choose not go around spouting a phrase that, to most of the world, would come off more like a bad joke than a rousing slogan... or, say, a list suitable for Sesame Street's "one of these things is not like the others" game. (I'm not saying it's a good joke, but don't blame Superman: blame the ones who made the joke. Hint: they're not from Hollywood.)

Secondly, Superman may embody the current version of "the American way" - that is to say, winning through overwhelmingly superior force - but didn't the American way used to have something to do with hard work and ingenuity? Just asking.

Thirdly, I don't know who besides myself would be so very old as to have seen the Christopher Reeve Superman movie... but when Reeve said, ever so earnestly, to Lois Lane that he fought for "truth, justice, and the American way" - it got a laugh. No kidding. Not a mean laugh, or a disbelieving laugh, but the kind of laugh the line deserved for sheer corniness. (This, by the way, was not in godless, America-hating California - no, this was in Idaho, that reddest of all red states. You got something to say about that?)

Finally - dare I say, conclusively? - I have it on excellent - one might almost say, canonical, irrefutable, or unimpeachable - authority that "Superman fights a never-ending battle for truth and justice." Nothing about "the American way," whatever that jingoistic phrase might signify. And that was way back in the day, when America really was the global good guy. (I'll save you the trouble - the particular movie I'm talking about, "Electric Earthquake," was one of a series directed by Dave Fleischer and produced by Max Fleischer in 1942. There are more on Internet Archive. They're good. Go watch them.)

Now go back to baiting Clinton and leave Superman alone. Haters.

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