Admissions Triage, or, Speak of the Devil...

In World War I, wounded soldiers were classified into one of three groups: those who could be expected to live without medical care; those who would likely die even with care; and those who could survive if they received care.

Columbia Law School is put out that I haven't applied. (Well, their automatic email system feels aggrieved, at least.) But they seem to believe that I can survive, if I receive care. So here is their final offer:

We can assure you, if you apply and complete your application promptly, that your candidacy will be carefully considered, even if you are unable to meet our February 15 deadline.

They should change the name, then, and call it, "... our February 15 gravely-wounded line."