Making Stupid Patent Laws Work for Me

When I’m a lawyer, I plan to drive to work by a different route every day, then apply for a patent on my route. I’ll work at a lot of different locations, so that anyone else who wants to get to work will, at the very least, have to do a patent search to see if they are infringing. And who better to hire than the person who invented the route patent?

There’s good money to be made that way, it seems.

Or maybe I’ll patent my business plan of amassing absurd patents and using them to extort money from innocent businessmen. There are all kinds of companies out there that will have to pay me every time they send out a demand letter – and a premium if their demand is successful…